It’s the holiday season and today is Christmas. And I feel like an unwrapped present.
Sitting still and pretty, bringing a smile to others while not displaying what’s held inside.
Others can guess. Yet, no one will truly know.
There’s supposed to be joy, connection, warmth, and overflowing love.
It’s swirling all around externally but inside… I’m just not feeling it.
There’s more thirst for more, stress about what could have been but wasn’t able to be.
Thoughts of how one is supposed to feel and maneuver throughout the day.
Holidays take the cheer right out of me. It conjures time of reflection.
This year has felt like a struggle and continues to be, not wanting to reflect on that.
The extra pull is not spreading poor energy and drained vibes to others while they are festive and frolicking.
For once, the Grinch makes sense as a mood, minus the deliberate deception.
There’s a heart, a big heart in my case but there’s a space and a void.
You have your trusty sidekick (my prayers, my love, and my drive) but then…
There’s a lot of space and warm coffee sipping.
Cheer feels close, yet so far. An outlook of watching others merrily share joy and no worries.
You watch from afar wondering when your day will come.
Until then, I’ll be an unwrapped present.
Contents appearing one way while inside no one truly knows what is being concealed.