Burdens on Burdens on Burdens


Monday, indeed it is.

Many people refer to Mondays as blue. Blue meaning that there is a slow dragging heaviness about it, an ode of sadness that the weekend has ended and the new week has started.

Another trait of Monday is manic. Manic in the sense of chaos and work. There’s so much to catch up on that you “run around like a chicken with its head cut off.” Frantic and disheveled, you do the best that you can to keep your wig on tight, the tissue ribbon from sticking to the bottom of your shoe, and enjoying your coffee before it gets cold. Some of you probably reheated the same cup of coffee today about four times. It’s okay, I do it too until I finally settle on water.

Today has been one of those days for me. You all know I’ve been trying to keep things together financially and raised a good amount of money for my rent. I got as close as I could but still needed to borrow a minimum of $200 to keep the eviction papers off my back. Well, guess who lost their debit card over the weekend? And guess who debit card isn’t connected to a bank that is in my city? *slowly raises hand with head hanging low* Yep, that would be I or me or this woman right here.

As an attempt to explain the situation to the rental office lady, she said okay let me know what they say about time length in regards to the card being sent in the mail. I call and get the card sent after first checking over and over in a number of places. No such luck. Long story short, I had to pay $35 to get the card expedited in the mail so it will arrive in four days.

So, I make the call to the rental office lady with the update and she says she contacted the owner and he said that if the rent is not paid before Wednesday then they will file eviction papers and charge me $100. So, wait. I paid $35 that I didn’t have to rush the card, only to still have to pay a $100 for papers that will be filed anyway. She said that if the rent is paid in full before the court date on the 18th, then I am good to go. Sigh, so no one could wait four days for that payment and I get billed an extra amount that I don’t have either. Manic Monday kicking in full force folks, full force.

You know what? All I could do was just say okay… after asking one more time about other options like electronic pay. Guess what? That’s not even an option. Sigh. If you’re wondering how I would’ve paid without my card, here’s a pro tip. Memorize your number. Disclaimer: it doesn’t work if they don’t use tech… in 2019.

Anyway, I’m just resigned at this point because I’m tapped out. Tapped out financially. Tapped out emotionally. There is something that I do still have drive and hope that things will get better. Things will get better. This moment will pass and it will be a brighter day.

In the meantime, I can only wait and hope to make some type money from the many gigs that I have out there, tripping over money in a parking lot, someone just thinking and desiring to donate… I’m still working on writing. I’m still working on info security studies. I’m still teaching classes. And even these things aren’t proving to be enough to make ends meet at all.

Let’s see what the next couple of days have in store because I’m just flowing with the motion. Don’t even get me started on the title of this post. It is a heavy feeling to be a burden. Yes, that borrowing of money led to a conversation. “You know what? Your problems affect others.” ….

5 thoughts on “Burdens on Burdens on Burdens

  1. I’m a firm believer that when one door closes, God has another one ready for us to go through. We never know what He has planned for us. Sometimes it gets tough and ugly, before it gets better and it’s really scary not knowing what tomorrow will bring. I’ve been in those situations many, many times and all I can say is keep your eyes on Him. You never know… He could touch the landlord’s heart at the last minute to show some compassion towards you and be more patient. Miracles do happen. 🙂

    I’m so sorry you’re going through so much right now and I hope it all gets better for you soon. Not to mention, asking for help can be so hard for us, especially when we feel like people are going to look at us as a burden. But we have to do what we have to do. Sending you my best, Virgo.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I stand with you on this encouragement and am agreeing with you. Prayer was the move for today for sure. Miracles do occur and I have to remain in a position ready to receive and believe. It is tough but it’s a unique experience that will allow me to help others in this area in life as well. And you’re correct, asking for help.. Whewww it’s a soul tap for real. Hard to do….when it comes with feedback that isn’t the best, it can crush you even more. Grateful for you and your encouragement. It really does help to feel understood, supported, and encouraged. Thank you. Sending you love and hugs as well. I pray your week is filled with joy.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re so very welcome for the encouragement, Virgo. I know what’s it like to be in a helpless situation – feeling like you’re stranded out in the middle of the ocean without a lifeboat and no land in sight. But I’ve witnessed some amazing miracles in my life, one of those miracles being that I am here to write these words to you today. By right, I should be dead, but God kept me here for a reason. So keep your head up high and looking to Him. It will all work out for the best. 🙂
        Thank you for the well wishes! Have a beautiful night!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’m so so so grateful that you are here. That’s a testimony. Love it and so glad you’re here. You have a purpose. And I believe this moment right here is one of them. Miracles can occur. And I thank you for the encouragement. Truly! Have a beautiful night as well.

        Liked by 1 person

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