12 Nov… snuck up on me

Today has been filled with thirsting for the Spirit and allowing music and inspiring messages to just speak to my soul. I started the day so focused and calm. And as soon as I got off work and lay here, it was random and clear. The reason I’m disappointed with this past “relationship” situation is because I got my hopes up and got let down. And not only that, he didn’t have the courtesy to take accountability and give closure to it. I had to give myself closure to us both via a recorded message sent to him and a prayer. I still have moments where it feels like my chest is being cracked open with someone’s bare hands and nails with no anesthesia. But I’m grateful for the wisdom and the ability to draw nearer to God. I tell myself that it wasn’t that long to feel this way… but hey, sometimes the heart and mind locks in deeper and quicker than what’s planned.

However, I’ll be alright. I’m protected and guided. My foundation is on a power greater than us both, and I’m grateful for that. So when I feel the need to cry, to scream, to grieve, and even to reflect on the smiles that were present, I know I’m stronger. I’m a Queen. I’m a child of the most high and there’s nothing that will change that. I’m favored. I’m provided for. My steps are ordered. And truly, it’s not about me but I’m equipped for this journey, even when it’s felt like long-suffering for years now. I’ve already won. I’ve already won. I’ve already won. Now, let me pray and give praise. He is worthy!!!