I… See…

A couple of things that I find that keep me going are my faith and my ability to see when I am not feeling the greatest internally,  and then flipping it into something positive or implementing a plan of action to work through what is present.

But sometimes, it’s truly hard to keep smiling and be optimistic when you’re tired, when your heart is hurting, and when it feels like you’re giving your all but not making any progression, yet taking on criticism and instability.

Believe this:  Strong people are not immune to life and it’s hardships. Strong people carry a lot of what others don’t want to carry themselves.  Strong people need hugs and love too.  Strong people are not perfect but they are trying their best with what’s present.

I’ve done well with not over thinking, which can be easy for me because all the tiny details seem to stand out with a story of its own that desires to be explored. 😏 But sometimes, it would be nice to rewind time and not take a road in life that was ventured down.  Maybe it would prevent tears. Maybe it would prevent wasted time. Maybe it would have kept me from going the rockiest route of depletion possible. Maybe… just maybe, but it can’t be undone. Frustrating at times and gratitude inducing at others.

Today though, it would be nice to have a miracle… scratch that…. a waterfall of answered prayers and miracles just overflowing and creating a joy that can’t be contained.  It would be nice to breathe with contentment and a smiling thought of “I knew you would bless me more than my mind or heart could imagine.” It would be nice to walk through Eden, instead of feeling like constantly plowing the earth with no gloves, soiled nails, barefoot on glass, and without an ounce of clean water.

Yet, optimism and hope run within, even when I may not be feeling it.  The push still occurs because I want to walk in wholeness.  I want to love and have a reality better than a vision or something mass distributed for temporary gratification. I’m pushing. I’m still pouring out the love I have inside and the faith that’s planted within my core.  Of course, I want the best for us all with a healthy spirit that can be felt without words.

But, hey, sometimes it’s hard and a boxing glove, a good cry, long shower, and a month off would be a moment to take a breath and breathe… or to at least have someone that’s committed to the journey with you. Someone that pours into you when you are done and vice versa. Someone that’s an angel on earth.

Although my frustration is high at times, I am grateful and loving. I do have to vent and try to express it in good ways. I am grateful for the present even as I strive for better. I know you have your moments too.  We can’t be down on ourselves though because we feel and experience and roll with the uncertainties in life. Let’s keep pushing. We got this.    We may be so tired, but we got this.

Prayers Rising. Gratitude Rising. Healthy Expression. God flowing within it all.

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