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You know what I mean

Whew I promise you can pour your heart into being the best person you can be, expecting the best, believing the best, and progressing physically, mentally and emotionally. 
And out of the most random moments, you’ll think about that person that means so, so much to you, that’s so near yet feels so very far away. 
And the anvil drops into your spirit and the tears form. Your mind questions why does this person affect me so.  Sometimes you know and it’s out of love and frustration. 
Your body wants to turn the switch off. Your desires want to mend it or just take a nap and hope it’s better when you awaken. You start to seek out ways to… just feel better than the heaviness. 
You lift up your hand And you just start to praise. You just express thanks for the wisdom, the ability to feel, the prayers that are being answered, and life in general. You praise the Most High for being present and never forsaking you. You just allow the tears to fall as your spirit fills with a presence other than yourself. 
And you allow the moment to restructure your perspective, your emotions, and deepen your connection with Spirit. 
And you know, even as I’m broken and it’s painful at times, there is life in me. There is love in me. There are doors opening for me. There is progress in the pain. There is a personal spiritual relationship being nurtured. Keep breathing and praising and flowing in the moments. 

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Favor of Open Doors 

I’m grateful for the open doors that await me. 

Slowly I’m approaching, preparing, and admiring the journey. 

Seeking direction with each step along the way. 

My heart cycles between up and down, irregular yet full and empty at the same time. Overtime. 

But my mind is at ease with acceptance of the uncertain. 

Daily overdosing on faith and trust as I breathe, profess, and progress. 

Today may be my entrance through the door. 

And if so, may my praises be heard at your doorstep. 

Even as I walk through toward the next journey that awaits me, I’ll admire the beauty in the path along the way.