These months have been a frustration.
Many prayers haven risen seeking a better sensation.
Reaching out seeking a white dove.
An agonal pulsing heart needing some love.
Clouds of misunderstanding are floating by.
Feeling like the sweet things in life decided to pass on by.
Wondering when things turned this bleak.
It’s his Divine encounter that I seek.
My tears have been a companion in bed.
Unable to get thoughts on how to resolve this out of my head.
There’s no one to express it to.
Writing is what I turn to.
These keys tap the stories of experiences out.
My internal meter is nearing drought.
Yearning for a miracle or a breakthrough.
Why does it seem like the rewards’ goal is to evade you?
My soul won’t allow me to give up.
But, sick of feeling alone with no one to help me up.
Yes, I’m strong and know this is temporary.
Gosh, it would be good to have a healing fairy.
Some things are so clear but yet so far.
It’s like I’m trying to build a rocket out of toothpicks to the nearest star.
Burnt out on grudges and anger and not moving forward together.
Ready to walk this path alone through the remaining weather.
At times I wish things didn’t remind me of you.
Just wanting to turn off the heart and mind and deprogram from you.
It’s not because I don’t have any love to give.
It’s because I know I have one life to live.
You see, the struggle isn’t that hard for me.
It’s the continuous pain that is starting to blind me.
Love should not create this situation.
Maybe, I just need a vacation.
If only you knew how tired I am of thinking of this,
You know what.. let me make this wish.
I wish for love to replace the pain.
I wish for the memories of why we love each other would surface again.
I wish the slate was clean from all the bad decisions.
I wish time was invested and intention with accurate precision.
I wish that the fear would leave your mind and heart.
I wish you had a reset button so we could have a restart.
I wish that the time needed to heal wasn’t so dreadfully slow.
I wish the uncertainty was replaced by a heart and mind that truly knows.
I wish that I didn’t have to write this right here.
I wish you were saying I love you dear.
But let me stop wishing because we both know the plan.
We both have to reach out and walk hand in hand.
We have to stop letting selfishness lead.
There is no room for three or four, truly no need.
I write this because I know this is true.
You truly underestimate the love you have as a blessing in front of you.
This is my last plea.
Surrender to him and embrace the gem he’s granted thee.
The time is nearing I can feel it in my soul.
At the end, maybe it’ll be my own hand I hold.
But, I know my silence will be all that remains.
If things continue to stay the same.
No effort, no change, and placing the blame.
Won’t affect progress, things just won’t change.
But, while I’m on this bended knee.
I say a prayer for you and for me.
Believing the best but yet you still feed Self
My desire is almost dry and soon there will be nothing left.