Solitude and Life 

Life should come with a sign that reads, “So many obstacles ahead that you shouldn’t even expect a smooth journey.”  That sign would be placed just after the “buckle in sign.” And before the “we still haven’t mastered the course.” 
Well, life, you come with the continuous lessons of patience, time, acceptance, resilience, and wisdom. I’ve learned that the external route affects the internal atmosphere. Often times, I remember the pain much more than the joys. But, the joys are priceless. 
Is it because it’s the part that I wish I was immune too? Is it because no matter how loving and good your intent is, it still can’t be avoided? Does it come so often that I get tired of even questioning it and trying to remedy it? Yes, yes, and you got that right.  
So, how do I deal without overthinking and allowing some things to be released and just wither away? You see, I haven’t quite mastered that aspect of this yet, and maybe I never will. I mean, I cling tight to faith. I do my best to appreciate the other people that inhabit this planet with me, while not harming myself either. 
My main problem seems to stem from Love. Yep, the most powerful word there is and the most life changing. Love is the foundation of it all from my perspective. It’s love that drives me not to harm others and self. It’s love that allows me to experience what others are feeling. It’s love that causes me to want the best for us all. It’s love that pushes me daily to speak and to act in truth. 
What pains me is when some of the love is not reciprocated but instead treated as expendable! And, it plucks the soul even more when the pain is delivered by the closest people to you, either out of selfishness, ill motive, or just not caring.  
I know I have to accept that life will continue to test me, pass me with an A, and fail me with a busted heart many many many times. It doesn’t make it any easier, even as I accept that fact. 
However, I am grateful that I’m learning more ways to rebuild and heal. I’m grateful that it hasn’t extinguished my ability to love. I’m grateful that I don’t dispense what is often presented on my plate for me to choke on with a smile. I’m grateful that even though I don’t have it all figured out, I’m still able to remain strong as I heal. I’m grateful for the blessing of time as I rebuild Self when each thorn seems to pierce my heart, some a bit deeper than others. 
So, I guess I’ll tie my shoes tighter. Buckle in. Restock my items of Self-care coupled with Divine power. And take it a day.. a second.. and a moment at a time. My solitude aids in my growth. 

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