Am I the only one that thinks…. take cover, she’s thinking. But seriously, have you ever just thought about the people in your life and how much they matter to you?
Does it sometimes scare you that they could possibly be gone in the next moment, either by choice or circumstance? Me too.
And then I think about how we pray that they remain…Or we try to Love so much harder with the hopes that what you bring into their life is enough to keep them near…
And you know what, it’s kind of painful or a helpless feeling because you truly have no control over it. None.
So we maneuver in ways to protect ourselves…or we pep talk ourselves into getting our emotions to respond as if everything will be alright with no effect.. but that pesky mind can send you elsewhere.
Your eyes open to the fact of free will/choice. You pause and have no choice but to accept that because you are “the way you are”, it doesn’t mean they will respond the same way. Painful. Real. Humbling. Scary. Life.
I find myself thinking about how much I’ve experienced that left me broken and wonder what did I miss . The thoughts are draining. The actions to prevent it from happening again are draining.
So I choose to Suck It Up. The way I present myself to the world is just that.. my way. I intend no harm. I love intensely. I’m unique and my thoughts are sometime outside the ballpark, forget left field.
But what I love most is the Hope that I have to keep believing and applying steps due to faith. Faith in knowing that what I desire to complement me is actually obtainable, even if it cuts deep at times.
With the current, I pray for the highest good in truth and love in my life and with that special someone. I pray that my fears merge into acceptance and peace. I pray that my actions are true to what I believe even if the other person may veer off course. I pray to care for myself and others in the ways that I am allowed that aid in growth, positivity, and well-being. I pray for continued clarity and confirmation of a guided path. I pray that I’m always able to rebuild even after the worse day.
I’m grateful for the mindfulness and the things and people present in my life. I’m grateful for who I am, even if it’s not the norm. I’m grateful that I won’t allow the deception of this world to mess up my core, my love, my strength, my courage, and my stability.
I’m grateful for this writing that gives me the ability to breathe and express what often can’t be spoken to others.