Posted in Uncategorized, Writing to Write

Interruptions

overcoming-blocks

 

You know what?  We all get burned out.  We feel like we are struggling and moving throughout the day, and no one notices that maybe, you need to just be hugged, heard, or helped.

 

I think it’s easier to manage when we feel like we have someone present… in our corners to listen to us… to be a heart when our heart feels choked… to be an ear when we just want to talk about nothing… to be a shoulder when our own aches…. to be loved even when we don’t feel lovable or our love comes across wrong, even with the best intentions… or to be a safe place when you may not be functioning at your best.

 

I was having a down moment… Wait, I was erupting from feeling unvalued, misunderstood, and unheard.  I was already feeling like I was failing in so many areas.  And the more I felt that upset, that pain, and that yearning for a different outcome… the more I was telling myself to just stop letting your emotions get the best of you.  Stop feeling the need to express and be heard.  Stop wanting to be understood.  Stop expecting someone to just sweep you in their arms and say, “I’m here for you and we can get through this together.”

 

And in the middle of that moment, some inspiration decided to chime on my phone from hitting my inbox.  Inspiration.  Can’t you see I’m hurting and just need… need something other than what I’m presently feeling.  And it came… ugh.

 

The message was:  “What makes you feel loved and cared for?  What is it that i do for you that makes you feel most loved, cared for and special in our relationship?”  Okay, well I’m not in a relationship but I’ve gotten so close I couldn’t tell the difference… until those heartfelt jabs of reminders quickly reminded me that IT’S NOT A RELATIONSHIP, NO MATTER HOW MUCH Y’ALL LOVE EACH OTHER.

 

But, you know what.  This question still caused me to pause… Do I make the other person feel loved and cared for?  Yes, even when I have bad days or may be misunderstood.  There is not guessing as to how much I love and care and express it.  Grateful for it, actually.  But do I feel loved and cared for?

 

This is one of those moments where you can feel each particle of air enter your lungs, and leave again on the exhale.  And the answer to the question will either make you feel more uplifted, or doubled over in pain as if your heart was snatched out with no numbing aid.  Do I feel loved and cared for?  The silence hangs and all I can do is say a prayer and release the tears that I’ve been trying to hold in.  I release my heart’s desires as I speak to the Divine Power governing my life.  I release all of my frustrations, my anger, my unheard thoughts… my everything.  I release my truth that sometimes I don’t even feel loved and heard through prayers.  I let it flow.

 

The question still lingers:  Do I feel love?  And depending on the person that pops in my mind…. one in particular stands out… Well, should I?  Is it that person’s job to love me, or anything for that matter? No, it’s not.  Love is a choice.  Caring is a choice.  Each are put forth with action, without reasons why they can’t be given.  Both are priceless.  They can’t be replicated in a lab.  They can’t be expressed thorougly with words.

 

But the power behind being loved and cared for is enough to give the most distraught person hope.  It will have the most impatient person applying patience in its honor.  Love and caring for someone selflessly will keep a person wanting to breathe another breath.

 

Do I feel loved and cared for… Do I feel loved and cared for… Have I shown love and care… Have I shown love and care….

 

 

Posted in inspire, Uncategorized, Writing to Write

Tight Roping The In-Between

tightrope

 

Too much of a good thing… can be addicting.  

Not enough of some things… can be malnourishment.

Tightroping the in between in a cyclical fashion. 

At times as an observer while still participating in the flow. 

Circling around.  Some things change. Others remain the same… seemingly. 

Choices to release and rebuild the scenery that changes as change comes within Self

It’s not a pretty piece on the shelf of life.

Maintenance is required. 

Being led by a higher power. Power within grows higher. Higher but level on this plane. Once seeking an authentic person and an inner name.

Sipping on peace and subtlety.

Uncertain of what the end of this life will be.

Content and secure in faith and love. 

I’m protected and renewed like a morning dove. 

Posted in inspire, Motivation, Uncategorized, Writing to Write

Trading Pain for Peace

clouds

“When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I. “

Peace and Progress.

The above quote aided in restoring my peace.  I released my grasp on what was outside of me and tapped into the higher presence inside and around me.

Oblivious.  I am not oblivious to the moments that can bid on snatching the peace away causing me to feel like my progress has been reset.

It has been a long journey to get back to this place, and it required me letting go of soooo much.

I took back control of the areas that we often attempt to share with others, like our heart, our time, our emotions, our spirituality, our finances, and so much more.

I reclaimed my peace by investing in spiritual growth.  Along the way, I put other things on a platform that could not offer me the same.

Easily it happens this way.  We tap out of ourselves and into others and the distractions along the pursuit.

There is a balance to the Self-Care and how we invest ourselves into the world in which we live.

My Self-Care involves daily releasing my grasp on what I can not control nor allow to stress me.  I released the frustration that comes with expectations in regards to the choices of others.  I released the stress of having to get it right in order to achieve growth.

I’ve always been honest with myself.  This same honesty has to be applied to the systems we use and the people within those systems.  I reminded myself of what I need in order to operate at my best self.  And on the not so good days, I remind myself that all is still going well and gratitude is expressed.

I released the fear of losing things that are valuable to me.  There is only soo much prevention, and that still is not a certainty.  There is no certainty, except life, death, and a power greater than me.

This keeps me fueled with peace.  It keeps me humble and the day flows much better.

I encourage you to release the things that you have been battling with. Exercise your faith and courage that you will make the best decision for yourself, even if that means starting over fresh.

You have to make the choice that you will exhibit love, joy, peace, gentleness, integrity, honesty, self-control, patience, understanding, and compassion.

It’s amazing how some of the best rewards are nurtured within pain and perceived darkness.

So, release your grasp.  Release your grasp. Trust yourself and have faith. Allow peace to be present in the process as you progress from one moment to the next.  🙂

I am perched in constant conversation on a rock that is greater than I.

Posted in inspire, Motivation, Uncategorized, Writing to Write

Beautiful Hearts

lysa-quote

 

“Bitterness, resentment, and anger have no place in a heart as beautiful as yours. “

~Lysa Terkeurst~

 

What do we need to release today to allow our beautiful hearts to breathe?

Posted in Uncategorized

Venting, Reset

The holidays aren’t supposed to feel like this.  I repeat, the holidays should not feel like this.  It’s cold and uncomforting.  Unyielding to desires of wanting more and seeking more and working for more.  It’s starting to become a consistent feeling of lack… lack and a longer list of things failed at during the year.  It’s a smothering of the warm fireplace stories that you dreamed of telling.  It’s been replacing laughs with tears in a warm shower.  Festive has gone on vacation.  Why does it feel like the trek in the desert for 40 years is still happening? It’s not that gratitude doesn’t find it’s place within my day.  I’m more than grateful, just exhausted sometimes with desires and wishes. Exhausted from doing my best and wanting the best for myself and others, yet coming up emptier than when i started.  This can’t be life.   This can’t be right.  I know one day this feeling will pass as well as the experiences.  But, dang.  Can a sister get a year care package of miracles and blessings?  Geesh

Posted in Uncategorized, Writing to Write

Pieces of Peace

cotton-candy-clousd

Pain frequents the doorstep

more than peace

Glancing around 

asking no one in particular,

“Am I the only one?”

Silence. Aloneness. 

Another unanswered question. 

When did uncertainty become the norm? 

I walk. 

Barefoot. Exposed. 

No destination

No goal

But to feel something new 

A change from pain

Maybe the air is thinner there

And the ground untraveled 

Perhaps 

There is LOVE

able to be plucked from trees

 Maybe 

dreams and possibilities 

roam freely as entities 

capable of fulfilling the dreamer

manifested through positivity

It could be a place 

where tears replace fears, 

and 

quench all that is broken

and thirsting for the drought

to produce a harvest. 

A glance up at the clouds

My mind

sits me upon comfort and fluffiness. 

A smell so sweet

akin to something

distant and familiar. 

Clarity comes unrushed

with time. 

It’s Hope with a 

splash of Faith.  

Things just might be okay

at least

for this moment

Posted in Uncategorized, Words

My Heart Screams: Purge

 

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People will argue, lash out, cry, and pour everything out as a way to say that they need you. And though, you may not be the cause of the pain, their pleas should not fall on deaf ears and numb hearts.

 

They’ve been present for you when your world was rocky. They’ve held you when so much was within you that you didn’t know how to release it or where to start.

 

But, somewhere the oxygen between you, them, and their grasp is slowly… dying… out.
If you’re capable and willing to revive it, do it. Breathe deep. Inhale and exhale together.

 

My heart screams….

Posted in Uncategorized, Writing to Write

Full Moon Flow

img_2955

 

Snipped Strings in the Realm

Refocusing of the Unbalance Within and Without

Applied Freedom to Fruitless Expectations

Each Line Written with “I Release”

A Soul’s Anchor Transformed to Ash

The Phoenix has shed its Skin

Flying Lighter with No Strings Dangling in the Wind

The Full Moon Glares On Knowingly

Transformation has Begun

Posted in Motivation, Uncategorized, Writing to Write

Sorrow to Joy

img_2953

 

Have you ever felt like you keep revisiting the same painful situation over and over again?  Have you tried different approaches but it feels like it yielded the same results, or viewed by the other person as not having changed anything at all?

 

I understand the statement, “How does it feel to be a problem?”

 

Well, not good at all… like someone trying to tattoo an open nerve ending?  The repeated and frustratingly throbbing pain.

 

Problem is:  It isn’t always painful.. the moments that give joy are enough to provide hope and fuel and expectation.  And then, back to the brick wall.  Ugh, the only thing I can think of is to not have an expectation and continue the same path… or to remove myself from the path and walk in the unchartered grassy area.

 

It’ll shift my focus, my desires, my thinking, my expectation, and whatever else is needed to not keep hitting the same wall.

 

So, is it pointless to pray and pray and keep coming back to the same thing?  Let me abandon that thinking…

 

Allow me to pivot.  I shift from sorrow to joy.  I can’t expect a harvest within sorrow. Why? Who would want to bloom on sorrow filled land? Nothing and no one. I have to shift. I’m shifting. It’s not easy but I have to express joy. My faith is bigger than the circumstances.

 

I express gratitude for strength and courage.  I’m hurting but I am going to praise, to have faith, and to continue to plant seeds of joy for a bountiful harvest, whatever that may look like.

Posted in inspire, Motivation, Uncategorized, Writing to Write

Gratitude and Praise

 

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Have you ever felt a surge of spiritual uplift (internal fire) so great that it feels like you’ll explode if you don’t do something….anything in response?

 

Praises are going up.

 

My mood is overflowing with Gratitude. GRATITUDE.  My heart, mind, body, and soul thirsts for more.  Unashamed pleas of not being passed up by the Divine.

 

You know, it only takes one blessing that you receive…accept…activate to change your entire course in life.

 

I express gratitude for the moments that I courageously grasped tightly.

 

I express gratitude for the honor of the gift…to be loved enough to be blessed, even when I don’t always deserve it.

 

I express gratitude for the courage to walk in the journey in progression on the next level.

 

I express elation for the ability to move… to feel…to think…to breathe…to write…to cry…to laugh…to express….to be the Amazing woman that I am.

 

I express gratitude for the past and present people and situations that have aided me along this journey.  Nope, it hasn’t been easy.  Today had some trials.  But, guess what?  I survived it.  I’m still here.

 

As T.D. Jakes says, if the Divine brought you through that, why would you get here and be troubled.  Let that marinate. LIVE!!!!